Mother Frustrations

Ok I just have to get this off my chest as it is eating me up inside.

Bryce was such an easy child and still is for the most part. Then along came Grant. He started off great! He was a great nurser and sleeper and had a good disposition. Then 6 months came along and all that changed! He stopped sleeping through the night became a restless nurser and difficult to put down for naps. After spending a month working with him and teaching him to self soothe he began being easy to put down for bed and naps and slept great. Then I discovered my milk was decreasing at 8 months just like it did with Bryce. I started supplementing with formula and things went well for a week. Then he stopped sleeping through the night, crying a lot after eating and refusing the bottle. I discovered he had gas so after putting him on Colic Calm natural drops things seemed to be better except for  taking a bottle. Now he sometimes will take it. The days he takes the bottle and drinks at least 4 oz each time he sleeps through the night. The days he doesn't take the bottle he is up 2-3 times at night and screams until I feed him.  Those are becoming the norm for him now.  I am soooooo exhausted and feel like checking into a hotel for a weekend just to get some sleep.  I have had maybe a week of un interrupted sleep since Grant was born and never more than one day in a row.

I called the lactation hot line at the hospital to troubleshoot with them.  Because Grant is 8 months now she said he either will take the bottle or not but to keep doing what I'm doing. My job is to present him with the bottle at the right time and it's his job to take it. She said he is making up the calories at night because there are no more distractions or the desire to play. She also suggested to give him bits of cheese and yogurt to provide more calories. I'm hestiant to do that as I have some food allergies and so he is at a higher risk of developing them as well. So...what am I suppose to do?? Without get a restful night of sleep I am irritable, have less patience, and generally just surviving the day. I can't take anymore!! I just can't! I'm tired all the time and am not enjoying being a mom and if this continues I have absoluetly no desire to have anymore kids!!

There. I feel a little better. The constant flow of tears helps some too although they just make me more exhausted and give me a headache. ho hum! Don't ANYBODY tell me " welcome to motherhood" the next person to say that to me will be handed two children and I will be on my way to Hawaii's beach!!!